Yesterday, I met with a friend. She had just dropped her seven-year-old son to taekwondo classes. To those who are curious, Taekwondo, Tae Kwon Do or Taekwon-Do is a Korean martial art. Here we can also look at the responsibility or efforts a woman takes in helping shape the future generations. An eco-system is built around a woman’s efforts if we carefully observe. Coming back, as we met after a long time, we started talking about what’s going on in life. I was surprised to know from her that she had left her job. I felt bad; she had a very nice job. She said, “With the hectic job I was doing, I was not able to give any attention to my son. I am doing fashion designing course now, and I am happy.”
I was surprised to hear that from her. She was good at drawings and was academically excellent too. She completed engineering in IT and later worked in role as a team leader in a top IT firm. She continued, “I had a hectic schedule. I used to come home only after 10 pm for which I used to feel guilty. In addition to that, there is hardly any support from my in-laws as they stay with my brother-in-law in Bangalore. I had to take a lot of holidays for my son’s health and one day I had to quit my job. Initially, I felt happy to spend time with my son. But after a few months, I felt I am wasting my time. I wanted to do something. One day I thought of doing fashion designing course. I had a lot of interest in drawing and painting. Now my son is in 1st standard and goes to school from 8 am to 3 pm. I get a lot of time. I am thrilled that I could give a chance to my hobby.”
I started thinking about her, and it was good that she is happy now. Some females want to spend good time with their kids, but at the same time are not very comfortable to leave the job. They think that they would only have to do household work entire life and also will be losing financial freedom. I will urge all these ladies to stop worrying, as the changing professional requirements have also given a lot of options to the ladies to pursue their hobbies.
There were many examples that I came across to cite. One of my friends started a beauty parlour after the break she took for a child. A female I know became a yoga trainer. She was always interested in yoga. One of my friends completed her masters and took a job as a lecturer. She loved teaching. She was also able to give time to her kids. She was so happy. Another friend started her own online retail business through social media after her son was four years old. She said,” I had taken a break for my son. I was enjoying time with him. However, at the same time, there was a desire to do something.” The break gave her the time to think about herself, which she had never done in her job having long working hours.
Motherhood – An Opportunity to self Assess:
The motherhood gives a break, where you can think about yourself and do self-analysis. If you were in the industry and doing a roll, where you were not interested, and you always thought you should have been in some other industry, doing something else, it’s really a good chance to analyse yourself. What am I really interested in? It’s a good opportunity to self assess.
Following are some tips you must remember. Be organised and write a list for yourself too:
- Go for your dreams: Motherhood gives you an opportunity to re-evaluate things. Always follow your dreams. Start your venture or search for the job that you are interested in.
- Be confident: Putting yourself out is scary. But you won’t get anywhere if you don’t go for what you want. If you find a job similar to what you are searching for, tell your employer you are still the perfect person for them despite not being an exact match. Convince them you are what they are looking for precisely even if they don’t know it!
- Connect with people: Other mums are a great source of information and inspiration. So don’t see them as just friends or competition. Get out to the networking group, spark up a conversation. You never know who you might meet and what connection you might be able to make with them.
- Pretend you are starting again: If you want to change industry or start on the path of something completely new, the best way to see if you really love to do it. Tell your employer why you want to get experience, tell them what you can bring to them and sell your value.
- Know your worth: Working women who have chosen to have children are often looked down on like we somehow should expect to give up everything we have worked for, because we own the reproductive organs to have a baby. Becoming a mum adds value. It doesn’t cheapen what you already know. It doesn’t make you worthless. Make sure you see yourself as valid and don’t allow anyone to tell you that you aren’t.
Of all have the self-belief that, if you can raise a tiny human you can definitely change career or return to work successfully. Never give up. A little person is watching your every move and what you put out there will shape them as much as it does you.
Contributed by: Chetna C is a professional in accounts and auditing. She is a happy, confident and contended mother of a seven-year old. She believes children are not things to be moulded; they are people to be unfolded. She loves reading as well as yoga. She found calling in penning down articles about topics which touch your heart like motherhood etc.